shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
