I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
