She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My breasts were aching with rage.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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