im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
