Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
