saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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