Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
