Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
