Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
