I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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