I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
