My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
bring money and cleavage
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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