I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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