when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
