You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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