This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
