drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
