I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
