Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
