Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
