Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
