as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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