I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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