Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
