Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
porn star boner night. come get it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
