FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
