capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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