she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
