She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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