i was born a porn star she said
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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