Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
