I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
