At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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