If i come over, it means nothing
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
