You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
