Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
