youre lurking in front of me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
