i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
