yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
