Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
