Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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