Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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