yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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