I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
