So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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