ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
