tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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