Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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