Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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