Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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