Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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