i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
are you so shy because you have an std?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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