And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize