i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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