Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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