If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
