she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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