Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
