Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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