O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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