Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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