I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize